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IWAN adalah seorang preman yang baru insyaf. Ingin berusaha jujur dan ingin mengenal Tuhan. Ketika sedang merintis kehidupan baru yang lu...

Thursday, 21 June 2018

A Brain Surgeon's Tips for Handling Stress Head-On

If you're comfortable, you're not learning, this neurosurgeon advises. Oh, and another thing: "Never cut what you can't see."

Most people at least try to avoid stress, especially when it comes to business and workplace conflicts. Even successful, high-profile business icons struggle with how to handle stress: Elon Musk recently admitted in a tweet reported on by CNBC that he faces "unrelenting stress."

That's alarming to hear from such a famous and successful entrepreneur. And he's hardly alone in the world of business: But as a businessman myself, and a neurosurgeon, I've discovered that the secret to a more fulfilling, successful life and career is to engage with stress, not run away from it.

In fact, many stressors we encounter are actually beneficial. Without the stress of gravity, our bones would soften; without the stress of exercise, our muscles would atrophy; and without the active engagement of our minds, our intellects would weaken and we would become more susceptible to dementia.

What's more, when we're not exposed to stress, we're not learning or growing or getting stronger. Only when we fully engage in stressful situations and face our fears head on can we succeed in our personal and professional lives.

As a surgeon, I've encountered numerous high-stress circumstances requiring a cool head and decisive action. The discipline of neurosurgery has helped me develop cognitive dominance: It's enhanced my situational awareness for making rapid and accurate decisions under stressful conditions, while the clock was ticking.

But if my years of making life-or-death decisions in the operating room have taught me anything, it's that all of us must have the right tools to conquer one of the fiercest opponents any of us face: stress and fear. So, the next time you face a high-stress situation, try the following strategies for making better decisions under extreme pressure.

1. Always place a drain.

While many difficult situations in life are out of our control, others should never occur in the first place.

There's a rule in brain tumor surgery: 
"Always place a drain".

That preemptive procedure of putting into place a fluid drain gives surgeons more control of the operative micro-environment and makes the removal of a tumor safer by providing a "pop off" valve that can relieve intracranial pressure. By following this rule, we prevent a life-threatening problem during surgery and control our stress in the OR.

What are your safety valves? What are the "rules" you follow in your life that control stress and keep it in check?

One way to manage stress in the workplace is to deal with your overloaded email inbox. If you find yourself drowning in emails, with unanswered messages from months ago still sitting in inbox purgatory, wipe the slate clean and start fresh with an "email bankruptcy." Simply delete all emails in your inbox with dates that are over a month old and move on.

With so much electronic communication today, who can possibly keep up? Striving to do so will only result in unnecessary stress, distracting you from truly important matters. An email bankruptcy allows you to stay in the current moment and keep your thoughts focused. (Besides, if something is truly important, the sender will follow up.)

Taking simple burdens such as these off your shoulders will free you up to make better, more level-headed decisions in all aspects of life.

2. Never cut what you can't see.

This pearl is based on the first rule of neurosurgery from my mentor, the master neurosurgeon Peter Jannetta: 
"Never cut what you can't see".

Just as illumination and magnification are vital to surgeons, making tough decisions under pressure requires first shining a light on an issue and studying the situation closely to determine its true nature and ultimate solution.

I recently encountered significant stress in preparing for the most important toast of my life ... for my only daughter's wedding. I struggled with a flood of emotions the week before and broke down every time I also practiced my toast -- a lot. After a lot of thought, I realized my problem stemmed from remorse at missing out on so many events in my daughter's childhood due to my hectic surgery schedule.

Illuminating the issue allowed me to accept that these thoughts were natural for someone in my profession: surgeons whose medical duties often bump up against family obligations. Rather than letting regret torpedo my speech, however, I determined to apply myself to being a better, more present parent in her adulthood.

If you're running up against a roadblock or find yourself in a stressful or tense position, first shine a light on the issue and look at it from multiple perspectives. Ask yourself, "Why am I so anxious about this upcoming business meeting?" or "What's really making me clash with this particular team member?" Make a point to illuminate, magnify and dissect your problem: The anatomy of the issue might be right in front of you, and you just haven't been able to recognize it yet.

3. Get a second opinion. 

Avoid your first reaction to any stressful event, as it's often the wrong one. Almost invariably, your first reaction is going to be geared toward self-preservation, and that's not generally the best solution to any problem. Instead, find ways to depersonalize the situation, removing emotion from the decision-making process to make smarter choices based on measured facts and different perspectives, not off-the-cuff feelings.

For example, I find it difficult to maintain a balanced perspective when a patient isn't doing well or has unexpected symptoms after a surgery, so I often turn to one of the five other doctors in my practice for an unbiased, third-party analysis. Reaching out for another opinion is helpful from the perspective of achieving optimum care and deleting the emotional aspect.

If you find yourself stressed, nervous or under the gun, don't leave the decision on your own shoulders. Get an outside opinion from a trusted partner, colleague, friend or mentor to obtain an unbiased assessment.

Mark McLaughlin, MD
Neurosurgeon, Princeton Brain and Spine Care

Wednesday, 6 June 2018

Kumbang dan Bunga

Lelaki ibarat kumbang yang dapat terbang dan hinggap di setiap bunga. Dapat bebas berdasarkan kekuatan sayap tanpa terikat kakinya dengan sesuatu.

Wanita ibarat bunga yang terikat dengan dahan dan akar. Walaupun akan menarik hati setiap datangnya kumbang namun memberi sari kenyamanan tidak ke setiap yang datang.

Semakin banyak kumbang yang datang dan hinggap dan kemudian sang bunga memberikan kenyamanan kesetiap mereka maka sesungguhnya sang bunga akan memudarkan dirinya untuk cepat menjadi layu.

Kekuatan bunga berada pada dahan dan akar yaitu kesucian dan kesetiaan sebagai kiasan menanti datangnya satu kumbang yang hinggap dan menandai. Kamu milikku.

Kekuatan sang kumbang adalah untuk tetap terbang kembali kepada sang bunga tanpa adanya letih karena telah terasa manisnya si bunga idaman. Mungkin sesekali dia lewat untuk melihat keindahan bunga yang lain karena takdir kumbang adalah petualang namun dia tetap menuju satu  bunga untuk dihisap karena tidak semua bunga adalah sedap walaupun nampak indah.

Sang waktu akan selalu tetap berjalan dengan menjadikan sang bunga layu namun kesetiaan sang bunga bertahan untuk satu kumbang yang hinggap sampai dia mati dan sang kumbang putus sayap dan mati.

~Akulah kumbang, Bungaku~

Friday, 1 June 2018

Mencari kebahagiaan

Kebahagiaan  adalah  keadaan  hati  yang  mampu  menerima  segala  sesuatu seperti  apa  adanya,  tidak  terpengaruh  oleh  sesuatu. 

Kebahagiaan  sudah  ada setiap  saat,  hanya  untuk  dapat  merasakannya,  segala  macam  pengaruh  harus meninggalkan  batin  kita,  karena  hanya  batin yang  bebas  sajalah,  bebas  dalam arti  kata  seluasnya,  bebas  tidak  terikat  oleh  kesenangan  atau  kesusahan,  tidak terikat  oleh  apapun  juga,  yang  akan  mampu  mengerti  apa  sesungguhnya  yang dinamakan kebahagiaan  itu.

Kebahagiaan  adalah  seperti  sinar  matahari  yang  selalu  ada.  Kalau  tidak nampak,  maka  sudah  pasti  bahwa  ada  yang  menghalangi  atau  menutupi  sinar itu.  Kalau  penghalang  atau  penutupnya  lenyap,  sudah  pasti  cahaya  itu  akan bersinar  dengan  cerahnya dalam  keadaan  gelap  karena  cahaya  itu  terhang, percuma  sajalah  mencari-cari  cahaya  itu,  karena  tidak  mungkin  akan  bertemu.

Dan  segala  macam  penghalang  itu  berada  di  dalam  batin kita  sendiri.

Orang  yang  selalu  ingin  mengejar  kesenangan,  dan  orang  yang  selalu  ingin menghindarkan  kesusahan,  takkan  pernah  dapat  mengenal  apa  sebenarnya kebahagiaan.  Bukan  berarti  bahwa  kita  tidak  boleh  menikmati  kesenangan atau  meninggalkan  keduniawian  lalu  bertapa  di  puncak  gunung.

Menikmati kesenangan  adalah  hak  kita  sebagai  manusia  hidup,  karena  kita  telah  diberi panca  indera  sebagai  alat  untuk  menikmati  kesenangan  dalam  hidup  ini. Namun,  senang  susah  itu  baru  timbul  apabila  ada  perbandingan  dalam  hati.

Kalau  kita  menerima  segala  sesuatu  sebagai  apa  adanya,  sebagai  suatu kewajaran,  maka  tidak  ada  lagi  sebutan  senang  susah  itu,  tidak  tercipta ombak-ombak  senang  susah  yang  saling  bertentangan.

Selamat Ramadhan sayang..